One of my favorite lines to say is, “don’t judge me!” It doesn’t matter if I’ve been in yoga clothes all day, my car is a mess, or I’m running 30 minutes late. Anytime I feel the slightest bit insecure or in “excuse mode,” chances are you will hear me say, “don’t judge me.” Until recently, that is.
I attended a workshop a couple of weeks ago that seriously challenged this statement. At this event, the speaker boldly asked us, “why not receive that judgment?”
Indeed, why not? What is so bad about someone judging you? What if that judgment was just another opinion? What if that judgment was just an interesting point of view? What if you could allow that person to judge you without taking it on as true, or right? Just because someone comes to a conclusion about you doesn’t mean it is true; doesn’t mean you have to own it. What if they could have their opinion without it affecting you? It is after all, their opinion. It’s up to you to decide if you agree with it.
Here’s the thing about judgments – All judgments are self-judgments. I’ll say that again. All judgments are self-judgments. That’s kind of a big statement and you might think I’ve gone to crazy land, that’s ok. But I’d ask you to think about it. If you are judging someone, in the recesses of your mind, how are you judging yourself on the very same issue?How does it show up in your life? What is it about YOU that YOU are not comfortable with? Taking this one step further, if you are judging others a lot, most likely you are judging yourself even more; and is that any way to treat yourself? And aren’t you supposed to be your own best friend? Is how you treat yourself a baseline for how you let others treat you? Hmm… that’s a thought.
So, I’m changing my tune. I’m getting comfortable with judgment. I’m my own best friend after all. I’m allowing people to judge me yet dissolving the judgments by perceiving it as an interesting thought – which diffuses the situation. Then I’m giving it back to the sender. It wasn’t my judgment to begin with, so why take it on?
Here is my challenge to you; how would your life shift if you received all judgments with, “return to sender?”
Love,
Me
