We’ve all heard of him, Mr. Prince Charming; famous Disney love stories, and “they lived happily ever after.” This is all nice and dandy, for a movie. But what happens in real life when wires cross and the “prince charming phenomena” interferes with reality, and more freakishly, your love life?
I recently had lunch with a colleague. We discussed our dating lives and fears of vulnerability; and the list. Actually, we discussed my list. As beautiful and dreamy as it is, my list is a great starting point, as long as I don’t take it too literal. Through some hypnotherapy, a wonderful tool for self-discovery and conflict resolution, I was able to discover the core reason for my single status. I was using my list as a self-defense mechanism, a shield of sorts, to keep myself single. My list was literally a blue print for the perfect man to enter my life. But where is he? The answer is he doesn’t exist. He’s not perfect, and for me to expect perfection is just silly. No one is perfect, least of all me. I know this, so why have I set myself up for the Prince Charming Black Hole of Isolation? The answer is simple; safety.
The list kept me safe. Safe was good. Safe was easy. Safe served me at the time. If no one was good enough, I wouldn’t have to worry about meeting the right man at the wrong time. For me, the timing hasn’t been right until now, therefore safe is not working in my favor anymore. How do I know this? I just know. I’ve had too much to do, too many other things to focus on and too much “stuff” to work through. Now don’t take me wrong, I still have a lot going on, tons actually. I still have stuff I’m working through, I’m juggling a lot of hats, and I know where I’m going things aren’t about to slow down. However, now my priorities have shifted. Now I’m in a better space to create space for a life partner.
So I’m left with this list, and what in the world am I going to do with it? Well, I’ve decided my list is just a good general outline. Maybe he will show up differently and I’m ok with that. Maybe he doesn’t have to be six feet tall or keep all his hair. That stuff doesn’t really matter anyway, it’s just surface stuff. The fluff.
Moral of the story, if your list is asking for the impossible to be possible, are you subconsciously holding yourself back from great love? If so, ask yourself why and what you plan to do about it?
Stay tuned for PCBHI, part 2. I will outline the do’s and don’ts of creating said list.
Till then… and in the pursuit if great love,
Yours truly,
Erika
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Price Charming Black Hole of Isolation, Part 2
Price Charming Black Hole of Isolation, Part 3
